The Value of "Free"

In my so far 7 month odyssey of under-employment i have paused to think several times of the value of "free".

It SEEMS like it should be a good thing.. and if the crowds on Granville street, hands blindly grasping at samples of everything from hot sauce to shampoo are any indication, we love FREE, even if we have no use for whatever it IS that is free, we will take it. But the real question is.. do we then VALUE what we received?

The word free also conjures up images of stuff someone has heaped next to the dumpster in the back alley (which is possibly where all those mindlessly procured samples wind up!)

I also wondered, how does volunteering - a "free" activity - fit into this equation of 21st century western society and the endless pursuit of happiness and "freedom" through a booming bank balance!

When we volunteer, we supposedly give up our "free" time. But from my personal experience, time is highly valued, and not to be given up lightly.

Take this week.

Monday i volunteered for Take a Hike. I probably put in a good 8 hour day. I added content to the website and organized pledge information. I loved every minute of it. (And might i add, at Take a Hike i have learned pretty much everything i needed to know about the backend of web-pages, hyper-linking, blogging and page layout to create this blog.)

Today i went to Pony Pals. They are an awesome outfit in Delta who work with kids and adults with life challenges. It was my first day "on the job". I was first tasked with grooming and saddling up 3 muddy ponies. Then the kids arrived. I'm sure the looks on the kids faces as they climbed aboard the ponies never gets old. Today i had 2 students. Both were about 7 years old. Both got more enjoyment from walking and trotting around that ring for 30 minutes than most adults get from winning the Lotto.

Towards the end of the second lesson, the pony i was leading started and spun wildly at a loud crash out the back of the barn (let me add here the horses are the best trained, gentlest "equine therapists" i have ever met, but this crash made every person and animal in hearing distance jump!), with his small charge atop. I thought "oh Christ, he's gonna go flying". Hell, I've seen seasoned pros go flying when horses spin like that! However as i regained control of the pony, I realized i was looking up into the smiling face of his rider.. "wow that was FUN!" he said.. "he went soooo fast! I hung on tight" "you sure did!" i said- breathing once more.. and in that moment, we both learned that the unexpected is sometimes more fun than just going the predictable route.

At BOTH these places i used my "free" time. Yet i was valued in more than dollars. I have new skill sets. I have self respect. I have the confidence that i can still grow and learn at 40. I have also, incidentally, gained 2 new fantastic friends, and met a bunch of awesome people who genuinely want to help others. All for "free" !

Volunteering at these places has also helped breakdown my preconceived notions of who can be effective helping out. One of the difficulties for my steadfastly middle class brain, was that i was afraid of working in areas involving marginalized people, even though this is where my interest, right back to my psych major at University, lay. I thought they might well ask "what the hell would you know about my trouble, how the hell can you possibly help me?".  So i let myself off the hook and waited for some ex "at risk youth" or parent of an autistic child to step up to the plate.

I don't really know the full stories behind the two amazing women who head up these enterprises, and maybe they DO have a connection to the causes they fight for daily. But what both of them have taught me is that if you really care (and caring is free, FYI) you can help anyone who wants to be helped.. because they will see you are genuine.

So if "free" is good, and giving away my time gets me so much more.. why do i get funny looks when i tell people i have quit money-making ventures temporarily for volunteering? Why is that idea so incongruous to so many people? Perhaps because in Western "civilization" we really don't value anything anymore that we haven't paid a high price for.

It seems to me that most great "free" things that matter are, in fact, priceless. Think love, trust, patience and time. Think of giving all of them freely, every day, whether it is volunteering or getting your workmate a cup of tea. The last 7 months has taught me that it will likely make your life 100% happier and healthier than excess money ever could have, and it will have cost you nothing.

So I Quit...

And really, it seemed too easy at the time... (which was 6 months ago now)

But people asked.. "Why on EARTH would you quit a job you don't hate, that pays you well, in a city you love.. with no prospect of a job at the age of 40?"


You see I had what people work to GET. A pretty cushy gig. After 16 years with the same company, I had landed the equivalent of the Lotto 6/49- Desk Job, hours of 830am-5pm, 5 weeks holiday, a team I got along with, and a company that gave us paid conferences and a list of perks a mile long.. oh and did I mention I earned six figures?

Yet I quit.

Why?
It had to be more than that I HATED to ride the escalator at Burrard Skytrain station feeling like part of a herd of cattle being shunted through the branding shoot.

So I jokingly told everyone I was "retired"... this tended to elicit a whole bunch of "WTF?" and "wow you are lucky!"

I wasn't going to argue the luck. I believe most people make their own, yet I fully acknowledge some people have sucky lives through no fault of their own.

So I tried this line of logic to my mostly reproducing peers... "If I told you I was pregnant and going on Mat leave and might not come back, you would all be deliriously happy for me that I was creating life and I had something bigger than myself to focus on, and wouldn't be in the least concerned with how I would make my living"..

RIGHT?

They all agreed.. yes they would be happy for me, no they wouldn't question that I would figure out the monetary angle.

So I went on, "I will be paying myself - saved by myself, and paid by myself to myself- the equivalent of Mat leave.. about 24K gross, I will be no burden on the tax payers, or my other half, and I will create art, and volunteer to create a better community.. how is that any LESS worthwhile?"

That kinda stumped em.. but still I got some funny looks.. kinda like the look you give people who say fundamentally stupid things, but you don't want to be the one to point it out!

Now, 6 months down the track, I'm starting to get a fair amount of "so... still not working huh?"

I think people thought I would come to my senses.. (they should have known better than that!) and would be somehow gainfully employed by Christmas.

For my parents generation, it was a bonafide scandal. Pretty much everyone over 60 was aghast.. for them, you get a job, hopefully it paid enough to support your family and you didn't hate it. That was about the best you could wish for, right?

Even if it DIDN'T fulfill these 2 rather key requirements..you didn't just up and QUIT.

But in my first 6 months off I have discovered a few things...

I make awesome curry.
I love reading the paper, and knowing what is happening in world outside my street.
I love working with kids.
I love volunteering with organizations making a fundamental difference in peoples lives.
I still need to LEARN.
I am genuinely HAPPY to wake up in the morning and see what the day holds for me.

(and I hadn't said THAT for over 2 years in my cushy job... regardless of all the "perks" I REALLY hated that escalator!)

I DID have a slight breakdown the other day, when my former employer sent me my final payslip for 2010. I looked at it, and marveled how I could possibly be LIVING without their contributions to my bank account each month. I thought seriously about whether I had made a mistake in leaving..

then I thought... well excuse me for wanting more than "a job I didn't hate."

I will update my journey through under-employment over the next 6 months (I have "funding" until August at least!). High on the horizon of fun times will be striving to complete my Photography Certificate at Langara, volunteering at Take a Hike and Pony Pals and going to Tofino to celebrate my 10th anniversary.

And Lovin' it!